Cotesloe, Perth, Australia.

I spent this Christmas in Australia with my sister and her fiancée who live there and my parents who were also out visiting. It was an amazing experience I’ll never forget.

What I wanted to share today was not my adventures around Australia but my plan of adventures yet to come, my bucket list.

Bucket List, to me, (before heading to Australia) was an amusing(ish) film about two men (Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson) who are dying and trying to complete a list of things they’ve always wanted to do before kicking the bucket. Not a new concept – true. Not a concept that ever particularly interested me either, but the more I thought about it the more logical and exciting it became. I did not however start thinking of a bucket list because I had seen this film or because I was dying but because, by chance, when I was shopping for Christmas presents in Australia this smiley chap caught my attention… (I also didn’t want to buy a Powderfinger book or a book about some Australian Cricket player… It would seem Aussies only sell books by other Aussies…)

100 Things by Sebastian Terry is a book about one man’s mission to complete his bucket list of 100 things that he wrote after the loss of a close friend. On his list was ‘Number 100: Publish a Book’. It seemed he had ticked off about half the things on his list, certainly enough to write a book about. I demolished the book in 4 days, beating my own book-finishing personal best by about two weeks. As soon as I finished it I wrote to the author basically thanking him for writing a book that had left an impression on me.

Two weeks later I got a response:

Neil,
Thanks for the kind words!
You’re not the only one who doesn’t read too much- I think the last book I read was the BFG!
I’m so glad that the book left a positive impression with you.
I spent some time in Scotland and even did my medical trial there.
Get involved buddy, I’m so stoked your going to blame me for the things that screw up- I think they’re sometimes the best things haha
Take care man and talk soon,
Enjoy this sun!
Seb

(The medical trial he was referring to was ‘Number 13: Be in a Medical Trial’)

Not the only ones with a list

Since making a 3-item bucket list when I was about 14 and completing it 6 years ago I guess I’ve just floated around a bit (FYI: the list was: release a single; release an album; release a record on vinyl… not massively imaginative, but it entertained me for seven years.)

The book made me think about how much I really liked having those set-in-stone goals to achieve, and – like the book said – it was the bits that go wrong and the people you meet on your way to achieving the goals that end up being more important than the goals themselves. But I guess some people, like me, need the goals to drive them. So after a bit of thought I committed to paper my own 100 things; things that I’ve always wanted to do; things that would take me out of my comfort zone; things that just sounded fun to do, there are no real rules to a bucket list…

1. Catch and eat a fish
2. Go to a music festival abroad
3. Run an ultra-marathon
4. Write a concept album
5. Visit my uncle in San Francisco
6. Climb a mountain alone
7. Photograph a kiss in Paris
8. Make something completely from scratch
9. Learn to drive
10. Photograph the Milky Way
11. Play Moonlight Sonata on the piano (mistake free)
12. Understand “A Brief History of Time”
13. Complete a physics degree
14. Paint a (big) picture
15. Get a traditional (non-gun) tattoo
16. Learn to do first aid
17. Take singing lessons
18. Cycle the length of the UK
19. Crew in the tall ships race
20. Erect a monument to someone
21. Week without human contact
22. Randomly give someone a mental day to remember
23. Play guitar in a band
24. Help someone achieve an item on their bucket list
25. Eat a meal of insects
26. Bungee jump
27. See a Jackson Pollack painting
28. Run in an election
29. See an opera
30. Marry someone
31. Learn to swim
32. Model for someone
33. Send letters to a pen-friend
34. Write a piece of music for someone
35. Go to a jazz bar in New Orleans
36. Create a piece of street art
37. Bind a book
38. Work for a charity
39. Shoot a gun
40. Start a chant
41. Work behind a bar
42. Go to see a drive-in movie
43. Get hypnotised
44. Attend a cookery course
45. learn to pick locks
46. Present an award
47. Learn to skate a mini ramp
48. See Alcatraz
49. Play drums in a cave
50. Complete Granddad’s Rubix Cube
51. Go on a rant – in public.
52. Isolation tank
53. Swim in the Dead Sea
54. Go to Hindu Holi Festival
55. Throw a frisbee off something very high
56. Minister a wedding
57. Be an actor
58. Cycle in a velodrome
59. Write to an MP
60. Release an LP
61. Look at the sun through a telescope
62. See the Northern Lights
63. Run a marathon in less than 3 hours
64. Live on a boat
65. See Flamenco played in Andalusia
66. Be part of a flash mob
67. Go on a tasting course
68. Raise an animal
69. Learn to play the harmonica
70. 100 chin ups
71. Contribute an article to Wikipedia
72. Work in a youth hostel
73. Make a short film
74. Lead a climb
75. Build a treehouse
76. Fly in a glider
77. See a ‘nightbow’
78. Write a book
79. Go 4x4ing
80. Campaign for something until it happens
81. Wear a kilt for a week
82. Parachute jump
83. Enter a sporting competition without training
84. Ride a horse
85. Ride the worlds biggest roller-coaster
86. Cook a meal for 20+ people
87. Spend time in a cell
88. Be asked to give a lecture
89. Straight out a sauna, straight into snow.
90. Round the world ticket
91. Busk for charity for a week
92. Get a cut-throat razor shave
93. Change my name
94. Protest on Wall Street
95. Put ￡100 on black
96. Serenade someone from the street
97. Visit Parliament
98. Hold a snake
99. Build an instrument
100. Learn another language

It is with reference to the Edinburgh Half Marathon that I have just signed up for that I titled this blog “oh fuck, I’ve done it again”. After last years full marathon I should really know better, but life is about biting off more than you can chew, swallowing it without chewing it, puking it up and munching it straight back down again (we’ll I guess I can only speak for myself). That’s just how I roll.

Interested in the challenge? well visit the official site, sign up (stating your estimated time as 2hours*) and we’ll see you on the starting grid on Sunday 27th May 2012.

*why 2 hours? well they like to start people who estimate similar times together, you are put into pens (yes, like cattle) at the beginning of the race based on your estimated time – fast guys at the front slow dudes at the back – this is to prevent pile ups – imagine fast guys at the back stomping over slow guys at the front, not cool. Anyway it actually doesn’t matter how fast you’re gonna be, just put down 2hours and then we can all start together in the same pen, like a real family!

1.Why do you self publish?

Because no one else will do it for me, plus it’s a way to remain in control of the whole product from start to finish and where it is sold. Signing a contract to let someone else publish your works is saying, “you deal with this, because I’m not interested or able to do it”. Right now I’m interested and able so why not do it?

I self publish because the work I put in, in my eyes, adds worth to the final product. More work = more worth = the happier I am and I guess the more proud I am of it too.

2.How do you see the internet affecting self publishing?

The internet is pretty good for all things, obviously if your talking about the general idea of self-publishing then the internet is the easiest and most widely accessible arena to do it in. The internet is perfect for self-publishing. But if we’re talking about self publishing physical things like books and zines then there are two ways to look at it:
If I’m publishing my own physical zine for example then the internet is a big help as far as getting the word out and contacting possible vendors, it also provides a platform from which you can sell directly.
But the internet has had a negative effect on the publication of old style ‘punk’ zines which I love(d) so much (as far as numbers of different titles available goes anyway), but it is easy to think of the old punk zines as just a way to communicate new info and opinions about bands and the ‘scene’, the decline in numbers of old punk zines is simply because there is now an easier and more effective way to communicate those opinions.

As for the effect of the internet on the self-publishers of the future, it’s hard to say, i think self-publishing now is more of a statement because the internet does exist, choosing to self publish in a format that isn’t ‘net compatible says to the audience that the publisher has not published in the easiest and cheapest way. It leads them to ask why? What are they trying to say here? It engages you more. In that respect self-publishing in a physical form now is almost the antithesis of the ‘punk zines’ of old. It’s an interesting paradigm shift that I’ve only just become aware of since answering these questions.

3.What are the advantages of publishing online instead of a physical Zine and vice versa?

The main reason I publish in a physical format is because it lasts in its original form. Sure you can download an eZine and back it up and copy it from machine to machine as you get older but your children won’t find it in the attic, hurry downstairs with it and ask you what it is. With a real zine you’d smile as it reminds you of days gone by and you’d say, “oh, I forgot I had that”. I don’t think that would happen with an old computer file. The nostalgia factor is a big part of it for me. On the other hand, publishing on the net is so fast it’s immediacy cannot be overstated. It’s easy, cheep and you could do it without ever owning a computer, a pen or a peace of paper (providing you have some sort of access to a computer).

I have no experience of trying to sell online work but I can see why publishing physical press would be potentially more lucrative if you were inclined to make profit. Putting a limit on the amount of physical copies available allows you to bunk up the price. Basic economics so it is: reduce supply, increase demand. It makes it more collectable and I don’t think that’s a bad thing – I always do limited runs (but I don’t bunk up my price – I bunk it down as much as possible. bunk. bunk.). But if i saw someone advertising a limited number of downloads I would just think it was a bunch of wank, no matter how good the piece was.

4.What do you think young people prefer?

I can’t imagine anyone who is truly interested in the art giving a toss where it’s published, bearing in mind spray painting your thoughts onto a public wall is technically self-publishing… and kids love graffiti right? I really don’t know actually. But I do know that I’m not a fan of the term ‘young-people’ simply because there are young people who are past it and old people who are children, if you know what I mean.
If you were to force an answer out of me then I’d say (in hope more than any sort of knowledge) that all people prefer non-internet based self publishing, firstly (and mainly) because they own it, maybe it’s nostalgia again but I would save my real albums in a house fire way before my hardrive of downloaded music even though there’s more of it and it would be easier to carry. And secondly because it’s far more rare, permanent and transportable (don’t talk to me about iPhones and 3G because until you can access the internet from the top of a hill or in the middle of the countryside, their functionality is only semi-portable, as far as i’m aware a book still works anywhere). I’m not one of these people who prefer books over a kindle because they ‘just love turning the pages and feeling the book’, fuck right off. But for photographs and illustrations paper is a far better medium than a screen. If I’m honest, I love the net but i’d prefer to read your grafitti, your home made zines and your self-published books than your crappy blog.

[ends]

Kevin Allen is an amazing artist.

This slogan, often accredited to the wonderful godfather of Gonzo journalism, Mr Hunter S Thompson, is emblazoned across the urinals in the boys bogs in King Tuts Wah Wah Hut in Glasgow. Much as I agree with the sentiment, I’m not a fan of the misquote – not at all.

Thompson - awesome

Tut's - rubbish

So, here, for your education, is the real Hunter S Thompson passage from his book Generation of Swine (apt, ahem, Tut’s):

“The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason.

Which is more or less true. For the most part, they are dirty little animals with huge brains and no pulse. Every once in a while, they will toss up a token human like Ed Bradley or Edwin Newman or Hughes Rudd… and there are others, no doubt, like Studs Terkel in Chicago and the twisted Rev. Gene Scott, who works like a sleepless ferret in the maniac bowels of Southern California….

But these are only the exceptions that prove the hideous rule. Mainly we are dealing with a profoundly degenerate world, a living web of foulness, greed and treachery… which is also the biggest real business around and impossible to ignore. You can’t get away from TV. It is everywhere. The hog is in the tunnel.”

Thompson, Hunter. S., Generation of Swine: Tales of Shame and Degradation in the ’80s (New York: Summit Books, 1988).

Here’s a free track that we recorded, mixed, edited and released in 24 hours. Click ‘download’ to download it and keep it forever!

Here’s the concept: A band rearrange and record another bands song with the singer from the original band. It’s all edited, produced and released within a day. GO!

So here is ‘You Can Leave The Light On’ by Donna Maciocia with Donna Maciocia on vocals as backed by The Mike Kearney Ka-Tet who fucked about with pretty much every aspect of the song. and me on drums. Enjoy the free music!

There will be more mashup sessions, find them on FaceBoek:

Here’s ‘chair person’ Kim at the beginning of a meeting she later told me was ‘hard work, harder than usual’.
Hey, Kim, ya did good! No one said revolution would be easy.

Take note of the people with hands in the air – this is their silent means of communication. For someone who didn’t really know what was going on it would be pretty easy to pick up; wave your hands to agree with something; let them flop downwards from the wrist and wave them to disagree with something; make an ‘X’ with your arms to strongly oppose something; make a ‘P’ with your hands to propose something; a couple of rounds of this and you would get the idea. From what I could tell the methods of communication were pretty closely based on the hand signals being used in the Occupy Wall Street movement in America (see vid at bottom of post).

Below are some photo’s – not the best, I’m sorry – it was dreich to say the least. Below the photos is a video from Wall Street where some of the hand signals are explained as well as a good chance to see ‘The Human Megaphone’ in action, a communication device that it would be great to have necessitated in Edinburgh.

It takes all sorts: A primary school teacher and a student artist

Brollies for those who couldn't fit inside the tent for the 6pm daily assembly

Here’s a picture from this years Columbus Day celebrations in New York followed by a short extract from Christopher’s log just after he met some native Arawak men and woman in the Bahamas.

“They… brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks’ bells. They willingly traded everything they owned… They were well-built, with good bodies and handsome features… They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane… They would make fine servants… With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want” – Christopher Columbus

and so America was born…

Ref: Zinn, Howard. A Peoples History of The United States. New York: HarperCollins, 2001